WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MENTION OF MY PRIVATES (AND PHOTOS OF WOUNDS - NOT MY PRIVATES THOUGH!)
Over Christmas I had bilateral inguinal hernia laparoscopic (keyhole) surgery and documented my recovery to help anyone else to might find themself in a similar position.
For about a year I had been noticing strange changes to my well-being that I put down to old age such as…
It hit me that something was actually wrong when I was running along the cliffs (fairly normal for me - not eventful) and had the most painful stitch I have ever had in my life. It didn’t feel right. After getting home my testicles felt incredibly swollen for 24 hours and I noticed my groin was sticking out on the left side.
I went to the doctor, had a scan and it turned out I had a large hernia on the left and a small one on the right. It took about 9 months from going to the doctor to finally having the surgery.
Over this time I became unable to sleep through the night, the acid reflux got much worse, some days walking would hurt, etc.
Below are the notes I wrote on the day of and days following surgery.
Arrived at hospital, put on the sexy see-through pants and tights. Had my hands numbed and went for the general anaesthesia.
Waking up from the general anaesthesia I believe my first-word was ‘pain’. The nurse helped with morphine but the massive ache would not subside. My testicles felt like I was suffering ‘blue balls’ x10 and my stomach filled with 3 Christmas dinners. The following 2 hours was probably the worst of my life, I was unable to get comfortable in any position. I refused my first attempt to stand after trying to sit: the pain was too much. Once I eventually did and attempted to do a wee I began burping, burping and burping until eventually most the aching left my body. The final relief was the removal of the drain (pipe sucking blood out my tummy). I did not like the drain or the removal process. After that I felt great, munched and drank until home time. Apparently all this pain is due to the gasses they fill you with by doing laparoscopic surgery.
I stayed up until 10pm at home in order to take my next medicines. Sleeping was harder than expected, I kept waking every 2 hours largely due to acid-reflux. I was very hot and did many wees.
Woke up at 6am. The surgery site is more painful than before, which was not unexpected. Took more meds.
Pretty uneventful day, I managed the pain using the supplied painkillers.
The main achievement today was passing a fart. For whatever reason I just couldn’t control or feel the muscles required to do it until late afternoon.
The pain ramped up in evening so I increased by dose from moderate to severe pain.
One of my testicles is at least twice the size of the other and very delicate to touch or movement. The sack also feels like it had some liquid in, presumably blood.
Slept much better. Woke once at 3am and then up at 6am. Decided to try laying more flat and found it was now more acceptable for my body. Sideways doesn’t work yet though.
Testicle issue remains. General pain is less.
Able to sleep sideways on my right, the left does not feel right yet.
Testicles still enormous and black.
We had guests over (it is Xmas eve-eve) and was able to do deliver drinks to people, etc. Normally sit on the floor for guests but requested a seat on the sofa on this occasion.
Probably would have slept fine if not for the toddler having tummy ache in the night.
Testicles less swollen, still black. I would probably say I am “fine” now. I am slightly slower to move, stairs are a little sore, probably couldn’t walk 5k yet but just sitting and moving around the house are fine.
Pain generally decreased daily after this but was still very much aware I was ‘delicate’ for at least the two weeks.
I stopped taking Codeine after a week or so.
This was the first surgery I’d had removable stitches for and would like to report that it was barely noticeable having them out.
The only lingering side effect, which stopped at 4 weeks was my body telling me I needed to wee and poo via pain, rather than that “full” feeling.
I was able to walk and cycle 5k at 3 weeks and able to run 5k at 4 weeks. Possibly could have done both sooner but very much did not want to risk having to go through this all again by mucking the recovery up!
All the original symptoms have gone. I can even sleep through the night again now!